Funny Things To Say Shopping At Whole Foods

March 3, 2010

Image via Wikipedia

Even though half of the staff here at Say Funny Things is a pinko, commie, Obama-loving, liberal, vegetarian type we’re always in the mood to piss off Volvo-driving soccer moms. Eat it, milfy milfy milfs!
Funny Things To Say Shopping At Whole Foods

Excuse me, do you know where I [...]

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Funny Things To Say While Watching The 2010 Winter Olympics

February 24, 2010

While we are certainly upstanding patriotic American citizens and we wish the best to all of the athletes competing in this year’s Games, we are nonetheless a bit nonplussed this time around. Perhaps we’re jaded by our love of baseball, football, and basketball (plus, we keep having flashbacks to the mean kid next door convincing [...]

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Funny Things To Say About NBA All Star Weekend

February 13, 2010

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Forget the Winter Olympics (not really) it’s All Star Weekend! So grab your remote and prepare to watch the most riveting, intense, passionate game in all of sports. All right, it’s a glorified shootaround and you’ll change the channel fifteen minutes in, but before you change the channel…
Funny Things To Say About All [...]

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Funny Things To Say To Your Valentine

February 12, 2010

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Take it from us – two losers who haven’t had real dates in a combined 19 years – humor on Valentine’s Day is something on which you should tread lightly. But in order to keep a hint of a smile on your face as she drones on about beaches and flowers and shit, [...]

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Funny Things To Say While Battling The Winter Blues

February 9, 2010

Image by johnivara via Flickr

Where we live, it’s been cold, bleak, blustery and grey for 87 consecutive days. It’s so cold, our nipples have shirt callouses. Before they start bleeding, here’s Funny Things To Say While Battling The Winter Blues.
Funny Things To Say While Battling The Winter Blues
1. Right [...]

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Funny Things To Say At A Super Bowl Party

February 5, 2010

You’re going to get sooooo wasted at the Super Bowl party you won’t remember your name, much less where your keys are or what funny jokes you stocked up on to entertain all your friends. We recommend you print this biz-atch out and take it with you as a back-up plan.
Yeah. Like you’ll be able [...]

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Funny Things To Say At Halftime Of This Year’s Super Bowl

February 4, 2010

The Who are performing at halftime of this year’s Super Bowl and we here at Say Funny Things, would like to present to you, in true, “Rock out with your…” Um … never mind.
Funny Things To Say During This Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

Who are the old fuckers singing the CSI theme?
We need another box [...]

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Funny Things To Say After The 2010 Grammy Awards

February 1, 2010

We participated in an orgy last night. Or, better said, watched one. In honor of the music industry’s annual congratulatory group blow job, we figured we’d try to be funny with it. (Give us a break. We did shots after each gratuitous cleavage cut-away shot and humor is subjective, so go read the Onion or [...]

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Funny Things To Say Ordering At Taco Bell

January 27, 2010

Watching the latest rounds of Taco Bell commercials, we can’t decide who we want to make out with more – Denise, the 89-cent burrito salesman or the chunky chick from the diet Taco Bell spots. While we ponder, here’s Funny Things To Say Ordering At Taco Bell.
Funny Things To Say Ordering At Taco Bell
1.      Define [...]

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Funny Things To Say When Your Blog Goes Stale

January 23, 2010

We haven’t posted in a couple weeks so, in order to jump start the funny, here are Funny Things To Say When Your Blog Goes Stale.

Woulda posted something, but I just had the world’s longest blow job.
Not gonna go into detail, but we need to raise money to get some web access for Betty Ford.
Sorry. [...]

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