Funny Things To Say Watching The NBA Playoffs

May 6, 2010

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

It’s that time of year again, when NBA players actually, you know, PLAY BASKETBALL. So throw on your favorite throwback and throw back a few while we wax sarcastic on that ass with…
Funny Things To Say Watching The NBA Playoffs

Orlando and Atlanta? Is there a “Watching Paint Dry” channel.
Oh now [...]

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Funny Things To Say Vacationing In L.A.

April 28, 2010

Image via Wikipedia

One of us recently had the good fortune to take a vacation to Los Angeles, where one of us had floor seats to the Lakers.
You have permission to seethe with bitter envy, we totally understand.
And now, with our mind on our money and our money on our mind we proudly present…
Funny Things To [...]

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Funny Things To Say Passing Gas

April 24, 2010

Passing gas in public is perhaps one of the more uncomfortable moments we all encounter. But there’s no reason to let the moment make you feel as wet and slimy inside as you perhaps do on the out. Here’s some funny one-liners to spout off to lighten the mood as much as you’ve lightened your [...]

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Funny Things To Say At A Hipster Bar

April 8, 2010

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Here at Say Funny Things we’re too busy pondering the complexities of good bourbon and beer to spend time picking out the perfect ironic tee shirt, but never too busy to take a few minutes out of our day to make fun of those who do!
Funny Things To Say At A Hipster Bar

How [...]

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Funny Things To Say To Duke Fans

March 31, 2010

Well, the Final Four is set and WTF? We don’t claim any bias here at Say Funny Things, but everyone hates Duke. In their honor, we’re proud to present today list, which we’re certain will be rejected by the Dean.
Funny Things To Say To Duke Fans

Is Duke German for Douche?
Which costs more? Stocking the selection [...]

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Funny Things To Say During March Madness

March 24, 2010

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It’s time to recuperate after four straight days of beer and basketball. Drink plenty of water, take plenty of aspirin, and restock the beer fridge, cause we start it all again on Thursday!
Funny Things To Say During March Madness

C’mon, man. Switch over to the women’s games.
And on color, Duke Vitale.
Where do you have [...]

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Funny Things To Say Interviewing A Nanny

March 17, 2010

Image by Stéfan via Flickr

This is what happens when you combine a late-night Nanny marathon with one (or two, or twelve) too many drinks … (well, there’s also the inappropriate thoughts about Fran Drescher, but never mind that part…)
Funny Things To Say Interviewing A Nanny

How much experience do you have removing blood stains from carpet?
Tell [...]

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Funny Things To Say During Sex

March 9, 2010

Image by mod as hell via Flickr

Warning: Guys, do NOT actually say these things during sex. Doing so could result in spending your evenings uh, “addressing Mr. Palmer” when you could have been uh, you know, “taking the ole skin boat to tuna town.”  (Cue Beavis and Butthead laugh track.)
What we’re getting at here is [...]

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Funny Things To Say Shopping At Whole Foods

March 3, 2010

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Even though half of the staff here at Say Funny Things is a pinko, commie, Obama-loving, liberal, vegetarian type we’re always in the mood to piss off Volvo-driving soccer moms. Eat it, milfy milfy milfs!
Funny Things To Say Shopping At Whole Foods

Excuse me, do you know where I [...]

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Funny Things To Say While Watching The 2010 Winter Olympics

February 24, 2010

While we are certainly upstanding patriotic American citizens and we wish the best to all of the athletes competing in this year’s Games, we are nonetheless a bit nonplussed this time around. Perhaps we’re jaded by our love of baseball, football, and basketball (plus, we keep having flashbacks to the mean kid next door convincing [...]

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