- Image via Wikipedia
You’ll have to forgive me for the hiatus, I’ve been on a meditation retreat for the past three months, doing some serious, deep soul searching.
Turns out I’m an opinionated smartass. So I’m back with a trunk full of smartassery. First item on the agenda is addressing the recent release of a certain famous firecracker of a woman from a stint in jail and rehab. Please enjoy, and rest assured, there’s plenty more in the pipeline!
Funny Things To Say About Lindsay Lohan’s Return To Society
- The one thing the gossip media always seems to forget about, what with their hating on her, is that Lindsay Lohan is a hot ass. Just sayin.
- $750 and the over on October 15 for when L.A. runs out of blow.
- Dear California judges, any way you could send her over to my place for a spankin’ next time she acts out?
- Welcome back Linds, stay attractive, keep making out with girls and we’re cool. I don’t care what anybody else says about ya!
- Glad you’re out of rehab and can finally work again, and, wait, Lindsay, no! That’s table sugar, no, stop it, you can’t snort that!
- Nice ankle bracelet, convict!
- One thing I’ll say: if the damn law had deprived the world of seeing her play Linda Lovelace, it would have been a tragedy. Let me repeat that: SHE IS SIGNED ON TO PLAY LINDA LOVELACE.
- Hey Lindsay! Marie Osmond or Dana Plato? Pick one and stick to it, would ya?
- If you could, bring it with some crazy tweets please, we’ve missed them!
- Damn! First O.J. Now this? Can y’all not keep a mo-fo in the pen, Cali?
- I know you hate paparazzi but how else would we forget about our own boring, worthless lives.
- More thigh high boots please. Thanks!
- Seriously media, why the hate? I am still trying to figure out how a 24 year old, hot blooded, red headed, Maserati driving, club hopping, Marlboro Red smoking, rebellious wild child is anything other than awesome?
- Sweet. She’s one bender away from a Tommy Lee sex Tape.
- Here’s hoping that you somehow find a way to reunite with Rachel McAdams and become a bad influence on her!
- Rumor has it Disney digitally altered her breasts to make them look smaller for the Herbie flick? Petition for an unrated version of Herbie? Who’s with me?
Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate before the fact next time, follow @sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for our calls for entries.
Now go somewhere quiet, breathe deep, get centered, focus, and think of some smartassed comments to leave.
