Funny Things To Say At The DMV

: Image by martinbowling via Flickr

While the world is going to shit before our very eyes (oil spills, volcanoes, earthquakes, lack of funds to download the Kendra sex tape) all we can think about is how bad it sucks to wait in line at the DMV. Join us!

Funny Things To Say At The DMV

I got number 624, way better than last time! Kill me.
Can I get a Jack and Coke?
Weren’t you in the cheese line yesterday, too?
Officer, for God’s sake, please find a way to fail the angry teenager in the Slayer shirt.
I know we all hate a rat but I gotta tell ya, there’s no way that guy’s car meets emission requirements. Dude’s car smelled like the BP oil spill rolling up in here.
Goddamnit, I want rock horns in the shot, bitch!
What’s the over-under on that woman over there having head lice?
Jeeze, who do I have to blow around here to get my registration renewed? Oh God, put it away, it was a figure of speech!
Can you get “BIG DIK” allowed on vanity plates?
Where do I plead?
What do you mean you don’t take food stamps?
What’s the make and model, why that would be a MERCEDES BENZ!
Fuck this. Where do I get a bus pass?
Man, you ain’t got any special edition Stone Cold Steve Austin plates I could get, do ya?

Please … we’re not the only people qualified to be funny. In fact, we’re not qualified to do much of anything. Add your funny line in the comments. We’ll gladly laugh at you, too.

Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate in future funnies, follow@sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for calls for entries. And hit us up if you’re bored, we’ll still be in line…