Funny Things To Say Watching The NBA Playoffs

It’s that time of year again, when NBA players actually, you know, PLAY BASKETBALL. So throw on your favorite throwback and throw back a few while we wax sarcastic on that ass with…

Funny Things To Say Watching The NBA Playoffs

1. Orlando and Atlanta? Is there a “Watching Paint Dry” channel.
2. Oh now there’s a shock, Kevin Garnett is being an asshole.
3. I believe  Mr. Zen Master Phil Jackson  led the Lakers in a guided meditation called “not playing like shit.”
4. San Antonio: Where amazingly boring basketball happens.
5. Pretty sure Vitale said Duke will win.
6. Methinks maybe Ron Ron should spend less time at the hairdresser and more time studying the triangle.
7. Your attention please: Stan Van Gundy will not be attending tonight’s press conference due to concerns he may bite his tongue off in an effort to refrain from comments about officiating.
8. I wonder if “try not to be distracted by the shape of his head” is on Jason Terry’s scouting report.
9. Please God, not the Spurs, anybody but the Spurs, watching them is worse than watching soccer.
10. New nickname for when the regular season ends and the playoffs begin: Dirk Choke-itzki.
11. It’s bad enough to be dunked on like that by Lebron, but when his nuts graze your forehead in the process, well that’s just humiliating.
12. Every time I see Steve Nash play, I reach for a fly swatter. Not sure why.
13. Right Cavs, no need to panic, you only lost home court advantage to a team full of All-Stars.
14. For every time the announcers mention Avatar, we get to kick Mark Cuban in the balls.
15. I believe if they had cut back to the studio after that play we’d find that Sir Charles shit his pants.
16. Less Kobe slo-mo. More Laker girls. Please.

Please … we’re not the only people qualified to be funny. In fact, we’re not qualified to do much of anything. Add your funny line in the comments. We’ll gladly laugh at you, too.

Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate in future funnies, follow@sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for calls for entries. If you have an idea, send us a message there. And while you’re watching try not to think about what a perv Marv Albert is when he calls out,  “Oh! A facial!” Really, we’re sorry for even pointing that out.