Passing gas in public is perhaps one of the more uncomfortable moments we all encounter. But there’s no reason to let the moment make you feel as wet and slimy inside as you perhaps do on the out. Here’s some funny one-liners to spout off to lighten the mood as much as you’ve lightened your load.
Funny Things To Say Passing Gas
- Image by Getty Images via Daylife
- Why yes, I was in the marching band. Why do you ask?
- Dude? Did you just cough in your pants? (from @danieljohnsonjr)
- Run for the border. That’s Taco Bell.
- Betchya can’t top that!
- You should thank me for that. Your cologne is just awful.
- Mmmmm. If only I could put that on a sammich!
- Damnit! I just increased my carbon footprint! (from @guhmshoo)
- I’m sorry, did you say something?
- If it had a name, it would be Stinky McJesus.
- Well, there goes my aromatherapy license. (from @ikepigott)
- Quick … I’m going to need mouth-to-mouth.
- Relax. You didn’t get any on ya. I, on the other hand …
- It actually smells better if you open your mouth when you breathe in.
- Bet that wouldn’t happen if I weren’t such a flaming homosexual.
- If Earth can do it, so can I. (from @ikepigott)
- Gotta bottle or something? We need to capture that for research purposes.
- The olfactory equivalent of Rush Limbaugh, at your service.
- I’m here all week. Tip your wait staff.
- (Bow) Anyone for an encore?
Please … we’re not the only people qualified to be funny. In fact, we’re not qualified to do much of anything. Add your funny line in the comments. We’ll gladly laugh at you, too.
Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate in future funnies, follow@sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for calls for entries. If you have an idea, send us a message there. And now if you’ll excuse us, we … well, just excuse us.
