Funny Things To Say At A Hipster Bar

Here at Say Funny Things we’re too busy pondering the complexities of good bourbon and beer to spend time picking out the perfect ironic tee shirt, but never too busy to take a few minutes out of our day to make fun of those who do!

Funny Things To Say At A Hipster Bar

1. How come everyone in here is dressed like Napoleon Dynamite? (A friend of a friend who hadn‘t ever been introduced to hipster culture, really asked this question upon his first visit to a hipster bar.)
2. Somebody please tell me how this many people think it is acceptable to wear skinny jeans?
3. Fuck this shit, I’m goin’ to Hooters!
4. She’d be really hot if it wasn’t for the skunk hair and stupid clothes. And bathing … she’d need to bathe too.
5. How ’bout them Cubs?
6. One more day without shaving and you’ll nail the complete douchebag look.
7. Dude, how come there’s not any Nickelback on the jukebox?
8. What the hell did your parents DO to you?
9. What? I couldn’t hear you over the deafening roar of pretentiousness.
10. You realize PBR tastes like shit, right?
11. Admit it, you totally like that Ke$ha song.
12. Damn. Spilled something … ANYONE HAVE AN EXTRA PAIR OF KHAKIS?
13. Those shoes are great, and by “great” I mean, why don’t you get some fucking Jordans or something?
14. Can I get a Blue Moon? Don’t forget the orange!
15. You think Dale Junior’s got a chance in at Darlington this weekend?
16. Must be nice to have enough of your parent’s money to pretend to be poor.
17. Fake intellectualism is so much better than actually being smart. I think I’ve found my place in the world!
18. ARCADE FIRE SUCKS!
19. If seven million of you wear white belts you realize it’s no longer unique, right?