- Image by Stéfan via Flickr
This is what happens when you combine a late-night Nanny marathon with one (or two, or twelve) too many drinks … (well, there’s also the inappropriate thoughts about Fran Drescher, but never mind that part…)
Funny Things To Say Interviewing A Nanny
- How much experience do you have removing blood stains from carpet?
- Tell me about a time you had a torrid, filthy affair with a married man. Please provide specifics.
- Just to clarify, the listing had a misprint, but one kid … seven kids … what’s the difference, right?
- How comfortable are you with the idea of working for a raging tyrant?
- So … do those breasts come with the package or … um … not my package … your package … deal? Hired. (from @bankdraft)
- Tickle your ass with a feather?
- What, exactly, in your opinion constitutes a “demon possessed” child?
- Here’s the kitchen, over here is the dining room, and back here is the sexual torture chamber. Haha, just kidding. I’m going to kill you. Sorry, still joking.
- So, how good are your reflexes? (from @chococherrychip)
- It is imperative to me that I have a Nanny with good taste in music working with my children. Having said that, where does Face Down, Ass Up by 2LiveCrew stand on your all time favorite song list?
- How many children who were not your own have you breast fed?
- Would you consider wearing a naughty schoolgirl outfit whenever the missus is away?
- Do you own a bullet proof vest or shall we provide one?
- What do you think about giving mild electrical shocks to disobedient children?
- On weeks the money is tight, is it okay to pay you in weed?
- Tell me about a situation where the police were called to the residence where you worked because an overzealous child blew half the roof off of the house while doing a “science experiment.” What steps did you take to resolve this?
- One of our former Nannies was all bent out of shape by a little game we play around here called “Shot of Maker’s for Every Correct Answer On Your Homework.” Totally not a big deal, right?
Please … we’re not the only people qualified to be funny. In fact, we’re not qualified to do much of anything. Add your funny line in the comments. We’ll gladly laugh at you, too.
Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate in future funnies, follow @sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for calls for entries. If you have an idea, send us a message there. And for God’s sake, don’t really reward your children with bourbon, save it for yourself!
