Where we live, it’s been cold, bleak, blustery and grey for 87 consecutive days. It’s so cold, our nipples have shirt callouses. Before they start bleeding, here’s Funny Things To Say While Battling The Winter Blues.
Funny Things To Say While Battling The Winter Blues
1. Right now I’d pick sunshine over seeing a Jessica Alba sex tape.
2. You wouldn’t happen to have any Zoloft on you would ya?
3. I swear to God I think I’m fifteen minutes away from a Vitamin D Deficiency.
4. Only two months till spring! Kill me.
5. This is the weather equivalent of a Morrissey album.
6. At least we have March Madness to look forward to. Right? Nope, still wanna kill myself.
7. I’m so sick of layers of clothes even sweater puppies don’t interest me.
8. I need a little cheering up, know of any good funerals?
9. Everything looks like it has been spray painted with depression. (via Bill Browning)
10. Midwesterners are too cool! (via @HaleyLandsman)
11. It’s colder than Ann Coulter’s cooch out here!
Please … we’re not the only people qualified to be funny. In fact, we’re not qualified to do much of anything. Add your funny line in the comments. We’ll gladly laugh at you, too.
Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate in future funnies, follow @sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for calls for entries. If you have an idea, send us a message there. Until next time, keep yer nuts warm!