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- Image by ex.libris via Flickr
Funny Things To Say When Opening A Holiday Present
- “I was really hoping for heroin. But I guess the waffle-maker will do.” (from @jsandford)
- “Sweet! Did you get me some ammo, too, Daddy?” (from @StaceyHood)
- “Oh, F%*# CHRISTMAS!” (me)
- “So I guess something from the Dollar Store would’ve been too much to ask?” (from @jsandford)
- “Look kids! Another year of socks and underwear from your mother. Please go ask her why there is no Santa Claus.” (me)
- “Thank you. That’s really something I would have never gotten for myself … ever.” (from @monicahamburg)
- “Please be a dildo … please be a dildo … GODDAMNIT MOM! I WANTED A DILDO!” (me)
- “Looks like we’ve got a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future ’cause I’m giving this crap back to you next year!” (from @jsandford)
- “Oh wow! This is exactly what you wanted to give me!” (from @BitterOldPunk)
- “This holiday could only be better if the person who bought this for me would just … simply … die!” (me)
- “Can someone explain how this Snuggie is supposed to fit?” (from @StaceyHood)
- “For future reference, Grandma, I prefer tidy whities. Easier to tell if I’ve shit myself.” (me)
- “Thanks Mom! Does the Bedazzler come with extra sparkles?.” (from @StaceyHood)
- “Daddy … I think you should have poked some air holes in the box.” (from @GoodForTheJews)
But that’s just what we came up with. Make us laugh back with your own in the comments.
