These posts are crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate in future funnies, follow @sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for calls for entries. If you have an idea, send us a message on Twitter.
Funny Things To Say Decorating The Christmas Tree
- Image via Wikipedia
- “I found those extra ornament hooks on the floor. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?” (from @ikepigott)
- “Why don’t we leave a big gaping void on that side to represent your brother’s role in the family?” (me)
- “We’re out of hooks. Go get that box of roach clips out of my closet.” (me)
- “Does this ornament make my trunk look big?” (from @zaneology)
- “One more reason Stanford sucks.” (me)
- “And when your father picks you up Friday, honey, please tell him the only thing he can put under this tree is the three months of back child support payments.” (me)
- “Tonight, children, you get to learn the origin of the word ‘prick’ and why I hate your mother.” (me)
- “Okay kids … Who wants to hang the pickle?” (from @bankdraft)
- “Wonder if Santa will take a dump under the tree again this year?” (me)
- “Is that squirrel ornament supposed to move?” (me)
- “Mom! Jeffrey is fondling the angel again!” (me)
- “Hey Dad? Since when do we have a picture ornament of you with a Hooter’s girl?” (me)
- “I hear they’re sending a probe to Uranus.” (from @scottclark)
- “Wow mom. You certainly do like beautiful balls.” (me)
- “Now, more than ever, I wish I’d been a Jew?” (me)
But that’s just what we came up with. Add your ideas in the comments.
