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Funny Things To Say Fighting For Sale Items On Black Friday
- “Wow, I never thought I’d actually meet the People Of Wal-Mart?” (from @jsandford)
- “Ma’am. If you put this on, you won’t look like the woman on the commercial. You’ll look like a Buick Skylark.” (me)
- “I didn’t get up a 3 a.m., drive through a tank of gas and wait in line to lose this $3 made-in-China-scarf to you … beotch!” (from @2LIPS)
- “Look pal, I’m one of the Wise Men of the New Order & Jesus wants an 52″ LCD upon his return. Hands off!” (from @jsandford)
- “Oh look. We grabbed the same item. You know the rules. Drop your pants!” (me)
- “Between you and me, before you buy that, please know that Snuggies are not appropriate for Sunday service.” (from @StaceyHood)
- “OH COME ON?! You need an X-Box like you need someone to double-check to make sure you don’t look like a six-dollar hooker before you leave the house … oh … bad analogy.” (me)
- “You don’t want this Droid. Its mired with many features that a simple person like yourself cannot comprehend.” (from @jsandford)
- “Please let me have this. My grandmother has terminal cancer and her last dying wish is for me to come here today and buy her this Hannah Montana doll.” (My sister)
- “Excuse me sir, but I had that thong first. AND you’re not supposed to try them on out here buddy! <RIIIIIIP>” (from @bankdraft)
- “”Psst! I’m actually getting this Beatles: Rock Band set because of the free LSD mind-expansion kit included … Paul is Dead.” (from @jsandford)
- <To a hoarder> “Didn’t you hear? They’ve got those for 75% off for the next two hours across the street.” (from @vedo)
- “If I had a dime for every time I’ve wanted to open mouth kiss you, I could afford three of these.” (me)
- “Oh my gosh! Did you see that display over there of free Tamiflu with a purchase of a bottle of Jean Nate’?” (from @jsandford)
- <Cough> “Having H1N1 won’t keep me home!” (from @kendraramirez)
- “Pardon me, but I think it’s only polite of me to tell you I am a registered sex offender.” (me)
- “You know Consumer Reports gave this TV an ‘average to poor’ rating. Why? Because you’re a dumbass, now let go of it.” (from @jsandford)
- “You do know the same laptop is on sale for 50 bucks less at WalGreens?” (from @StaceyHood)
- “Can we both take a moment for me to tell you about my good friend, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?” (me)
- “Is that Wii Fit weight rated for someone your size?” (from @TomMartin)
But that’s just what we came up with. Add your ideas in the comments.
