Funny things to say to unsuspecting passengers on airplanes … particcularly if you want to mess with them.
This post was crowdsourced on Twitter, edited by me. Add your funnies in the comments.
- Can you believe they won’t let your carry a knife on flights anymore? (@kendraramirez)
- I really should have skipped those beans last night … and the bran muffin this morning. (@BennRosales)
- Mind if I practice my kazoo? (@BrotherMagento)
- My brother works for the company that makes these windows. They’re weaker than you think. (@jsandford)
- My first day out of prison. Feelin’ kinda cramped. (@kendraramirez)
- I think I’ve finally kicked that pesky swine flu. <cough> (@jsandford)
- Can I borrow your air sick bags … ya know … just in case? (@kzimmerman)
- Excuse me ma’am, I don’t want to offend you, but could I please make out with your husband. (me)
- Don’t you think Barbara Walters got hotter as she got older? (@jsandford)
- My wife told me she already KNEW where the wild things are (nudge, nudge). (@jsandford)
- My ex-husband liked for me to wear a blouse like that … before my surgery. (@moarlikethis)
- I’m gettin’ hammered. Who’s with me?! (me)
- Before we get started, I just want to apologize now. My doctor says the altitude just opens up my bowels. (me)
- (To the person in front of you.) Just wanted to let you know the last person who leaned back in their seat in front of me just started walking again. (me)
- Man! Is this pressurized cabin doing all kinds of things to your nipples or is it just me? (@jsandford)
- You’re going to Vegas to meet your boyfriend? That’s weird. So am I. (me)
- DAMNIT! Forgot my diaper. (@justinrains)
- Had the most delicious black bean, onion and broccoli omlette for breakfast. How ’bout you guys? (@bankdraft)
- (For a man to say:) Man … these panty hose aren’t fitting right today. Most days … not so bad. Today? They’re just binding. (@jsandford)
- Those pilots are great freakin’ guys. Just bought ‘em like … six rounds of drinks in the bar. I love those guys. (me)
