Funny Things To Say About Justin Bieber

by Giggles Malone on September 24, 2010 · Comments

NYC signing September 1,2009 Nintendo Store - NYC
Image via Wikipedia

We should really probably add “volume 1″ to the title of this post since there will surely be many, many more things to say about Bieber in the weeks, months, and years to come. And may we give a warm Say Funny Things welcome to the rage filled teenage girls who have come here to defend their hero. Bring it!

Funny Things To Say About Justin Bieber
*The seventies called, was gonna ask for the hair back, then said never mind, keep it…
*Recent quote from an interview: ”We’re just staying ourselves and remaining humble.” Right, because nothing says “humble” like a sixteen year-old in thousand dollar shades partying with Usher. He’s practically a monk.
*Finally, a good role model for young lesbians!
*If you think the songs are good now, wait till he gets to second base!
*A good friend recently referred to Bieber as a “little twit” and I thought to myself: well that’s just…accurate.
*Seriously Bieber, you’re causing little boys to get their asses kicked for getting hair like yours…
*The Jonas Brothers have nothing to worry about. Wait, yes they do.
*Somewhere there’s a daddy Bieber with his head in his hands…
*I wish I had known that the twelve year old lesbian look would turn chicks on back when I was in high school, totally coulda pulled that off…
*Please Justin, for God’s sake, the hair, cut it.
*Also, fuck you for the whole Kim Kardashian thing, you little asshole.
*Hear that? It’s the sound of people who like good music running away…
*I heard the original lyrics to “Baby” were “bottom bottom bottom…”
Funny Things To Say About Justin Bieber

  1. The seventies called, was gonna ask for the hair back, then said never mind, keep it…
  2. Recent quote from an interview: ”We’re just staying ourselves and remaining humble.” Right, because nothing says “humble” like a sixteen year-old in thousand dollar shades partying with Usher. He’s practically a monk.
  3. Interesting statistic: 75% of all Justin Bieber album sales have been to priests.
  4. Finally, a good role model for young lesbians!
  5. If you think the songs are good now, wait till he gets to second base!
  6. A good friend recently referred to Bieber as a “little twit” and I thought to myself: well that’s just…accurate.
  7. Seriously Bieber, you’re causing little boys to get their asses kicked for getting hair like yours…
  8. The Jonas Brothers have nothing to worry about. Wait, yes they do.
  9. Somewhere there’s a daddy Bieber with his head in his hands…
  10. I wish I had known that the twelve year old lesbian look would turn chicks on back when I was in high school, totally coulda pulled that off…
  11. Turn that shit off, I thought you said Beaver Fever…
  12. Fuck you for the whole cutesy flirting Kim Kardashian thing, you rich little asshole.
  13. Hear that? It’s the sound of people who like good music running away…
  14. I heard the original lyrics to “Baby” were “bottom bottom bottom…”
  15. Please Justin, for God’s sake, the hair, cut it.
Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate before the fact next time, follow @sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for our calls for entries. And if you missed out on the fun the first time around, leave your funnies in the comments.

Also (this applies to Giggles only and does not reflect opinions of the rest of the staff and management at Say Funny Things): I am here to willingly admit that I think One Time is a dope ass song, and that Biebs has swagger. He will go far in the pop world, but we are equal opportunity haters, and will continue to make fun of, well, everything.
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Poker chips
Image by Jam Adams via Flickr
Funny Things To Say Watching The World Series Of Poker
1. How the fuck is this different than watching people play Go Fish?
2. Looking forward to watching the World Series Of Jigsaw Puzzles later!
3. My God, this is less of a sport than soccer..
4. Honey, you see this? If I ever watch this like I watch the NBA playoffs I want you to put rat poison in my cereal.
5. Confucius say: if it looks like a bunch of douches playing poker on television, it probably IS a bunch of douches playing poker on television.
6. Looks like the two best things on are this and Kathy Griffin talking about her twat. I’m goin with Kathy.
7. I have a friend who died during a drinking game where you do a shot every time you see a dickhead in a ball cap.
8. Nice work, the sunglasses serve double duty; one, they help you fake out your opponents, and two, they hide your empty soul!
9. Got a pitch for ESPN, how about: The World Series Of Rednecks Blowing Their Life Savings At The Gambling Boat?
10. Even better: The World Series Of Bingo! Old ladies playing Bingo on ESPN, I’d Tivo that shit!
11. I just had my million dollar idea, I’m gonna set up a webcam on the video poker game down at the corner bar and get rich off of people watching it!
12. At least it’s better than Pardon The Interruption.
Even though it’s not going on right now, we here at Say Funny Things know one absolute truth; The World Series Of Poker will be back, and people will watch it on television, and those people deserve to be made fun of. So join us in our endeavor, won’t you? Or, get mad and leave a comment about it and we’ll make fun of you too!
Funny Things To Say Watching The World Series Of Poker

  1. How the fuck is this different than watching people play Go Fish?
  2. Looking forward to watching the World Series Of Jigsaw Puzzles later!
  3. My God, this is less of a sport than soccer.
  4. Honey, you see this? If I ever watch this like I watch the NBA playoffs I want you to put rat poison in my cereal.
  5. Confucius say: if it looks like a bunch of douches playing poker on television, it probably IS a bunch of douches playing poker on television.
  6. Tough guys battling for a bracelet and bragging about who has the most jewelry on their wrist? Hmmm, that’s a bit like boxers fighting for a handbag! (from @AippleMedia)
  7. Looks like the two best things on are this and Kathy Griffin talking about her twat. I’m goin with Kathy.
  8. I had a friend who died during a drinking game where you do a shot every time you see a dickhead in a ball cap.
  9. The sunglasses serve double duty; one, they help you fake out your opponents, and two, they hide your empty soul!
  10. Got a pitch for ESPN, how about: The World Series Of Rednecks Blowing Their Life Savings At The Gambling Boat?
  11. Even better: The World Series Of Bingo! I’d Tivo that shit!
  12. I’m gonna set up a webcam on the video poker game down at the corner bar and get rich off of people watching it!
  13. At least it’s better than Pardon The Interruption.
  14. I’d like it more if they used knives.
  15. Sit around, drink beer, and tell jokes with my buddies? Now THAT’S my kind of sport.
  16. If poker is a real sport now, then I get a workout playing computer solitaire.
  17. So the outcome of the game is based purely on luck? Where’s the skill in that?
  18. A bunch of people sitting around, doing nothing, talking about inane shit? Are you sure this isn’t Seinfeld?

Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate before the fact next time, follow @sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for our calls for entries. And if you missed out on the fun the first time around, leave your funnies in the comments.

And just to be clear, we completely support getting drunk and gambling away the kid’s college fund, just don’t make it a TV show…

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Funny Things To Say About Steven Tyler Becoming A Judge On American Idol

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Image by japrea via Flickr

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Funny things to say when your friend catches you with his wife.

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While the world is going to shit before our very eyes (oil spills, volcanoes, earthquakes, lack of funds to download the Kendra sex tape) all we can think about is how bad it sucks to wait in line at the DMV. Join us!
Funny Things To Say At The DMV

I got number [...]

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