You’re going to get sooooo wasted at the Super Bowl party you won’t remember your name, much less where your keys are or what funny jokes you stocked up on to entertain all your friends. We recommend you print this biz-atch out and take it with you as a back-up plan.
Yeah. Like you’ll be able to read!
Funny Things To Say At A Super Bowl Party
- I really hope the Jonas Brothers are playing at halftime. I want to say if they look like my poster. (from @jsandford)
- Image via Wikipedia
- I’m only here for the GoDaddy commercials.
- Why is grandpa here? Oh wait! He threw an interception against the Saints and didn’t make it. (from @HardcoreCanada)
- You all don’t mind if I switch it to “According to Jim” do ya?
- Colts and Saints? Were these teams picked by the freakin’ BCS? (from @StaceyHood)
- Who’s playing? (Couldn’t resist the callback for @Mandy_Vavrinak)
- Peyton Manning is so overrated.
- Hey! Verizon dick! Get your freakin’ map outta my way! (from @hallicious)
- Hey Bill. Have you ever, ya know, found yourself kind of warm inside while staring at the players’ goods? (from @jsandford)
- I could use another wine cooler!
- What’s with this blue-collar bullshit? I want some brie! (from @jsandford)
- Man! 55-inch, Sony, High-Definition TV. Screw football, let’s dial up some porn!
- Which one was in “Blindside” again? (from @StaceyHood)
- So, what does the actual ‘bowl’ look like that the winner gets? I’ve never watched long enough to see it. (from @jsandford)
- I’m just here for the Tim Tebow wardrobe malfunction. (from @JohnAtkinson)
- What a wonderful story for the Saints, their fans, and the entire city of New Orleans to be able to go to the Super Bowl and have it all undone by Hurricane Peyton.
- Who’s got the better ass? Drew Brees or Reggie Bush?
- Honey? Was it today or tomorrow the power company was cutting us off for not paying? (from @jsandford)
- I wish Dick Vitale did football.
- Dude! I’ve got one week to figure out a better reason to start drinking at 10 a.m on Sundays. (from @StaceyHood)
- So why haven’t they invited Justin Timberlake back?
- I heard Leno is taking over the halftime show.
- Way to splurge on the dip asshole, that oughta get us through the first quarter!
- It’s no World Cup!
- Who would you rather bang? Andrea Kramer or John Madden?
Please … we’re not the only people qualified to be funny. In fact, we’re not qualified to do much of anything. Add your funny line in the comments. We’ll gladly laugh at you, too.
Say Funny Things posts are often crowdsourced on Twitter. To participate in future funnies, follow @sayfunnythings on Twitter and watch for calls for entries. If you have an idea, send us a message there. And don’t let your carrot stick.
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